fuck dreaming, why cant i sleep peacefully?
last night i had a dream about a classmate of mine, ethan. and in this dream, well, its hard to explain, a lot of weird shit went down. i remember we were on bunk beds and listening to music and we were on some sort of trip or something with our families. at least, i remember my family being there. i think the dream was ‘inspired’ or whatever by a trip i took last week with my family and some family friends. then i remember ethan turning around and when i think about it now, i know that that wasnt his face but in the dream i thought it was. you know when youre having a dream about someone and even though the person doesnt look like who youre dreaming about you just know its them? let me give you an example.
so imagine youre dreaming about ryan reynolds but in the dream, the person you see is your chemistry teacher yet when you wake up, you know you were dreaming about ryan reynolds. it just so happened that your brain put your chem teachers face to ryan reynolds person.
thats essentially what happened. so anyways in the dream ethan and i kind of become a thing. thing is, i have a problem where i continue the feelings in my dream, in my day life. so because of this dream, i get ‘residue feelings’ for ethan. now this wouldnt be a problem usually but i had a six hour shift and i worked with ethan and in the morning, it was just the two of us. so then im stuck with him for 2 hours, feeling the ‘residue’, knowing it was shit and i didnt actually like him, but still having my heart beat like a gazelle every time he spoke to me. holy shit. then later that night after i got home, he calls me and asks if im busy monday night. so there i am, freaking the fuck out, wondering if he was going to ask me out or shit and he asks me to cover his shift for him because he hurt his finger playing volleyball. im still running on the fucking residue and my mouth decides to say yes before my brain can even blink. i invent ways to get off work early and here i am, covering for someone? sure im earning money but my mom gives me pocket money, i have no use for extra money. i just wanted to do something semi productive this summer. shit.
ugh. fucking dreams.